There is a certain kind of calm that comes with rainy days. It settles over me like a blanket, bringing me peace and pensiveness.
I have not been posting lately, because the past week has been really challenging for me. Lately, I have been feeling very vulnerable in various dimensions. In new relationships and friendships, I can feel myself opening up. And in this blog too – I am sharing my voice with the world. And honestly, it is scary. It comes with so much self doubt; I think to myself – ‘why should anyone care what I have to say’?
The past few days, I have been feeling incredibly weak. It is only this morning, as I feel a calmness settle over me, that I am able to shift this perspective. Although vulnerability is uncomfortable, it is also freeing. It symbolizes that I am taking a risk, and putting myself out there.
I am allowing myself to feel all emotions. By opening up, I am accepting the good with the bad. There will be dissapointment, and pain. However, there will also be joy, and excitement. This vulnerability is what allows human connection. Seeking control and perfection, especially in relationships, keeps walls up and disallows for an intimate connection with others.
The thesaurus states synonyms for vulnerable: “defenseless”, “unsafe”, “exposed”, “weak”. From my current perspective, it is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. To be vulnerable is to allow yourself to be susceptible to all that life has to offer. By letting my guard down, I will be able to show resilience in the face of adversity, and gratitude in the face of good fortune.